Sundowning, or Looking For ‘Home’?
I remember the distressing phone conversations with my mother, every day, at the same time, around 5 or 6 in the evening. Her stories would vary, but the terror remained constant. There were anonymous...
View ArticleTwo Different Ways of Walking
The aide saw me from a distance. She wanted to make me feel welcome. ‘Hurry up, there is someone coming behind you.’ She tried to rush the elder woman inside the community room. First, pushing her from...
View ArticleJust Let Me Sleep
It’s morning at the care program, and time for the first activity, the exercise group. Almost all have gathered around the fitness instructor, except Fred. One aide comes and invites him to get up....
View Article‘I Told You To Wait For Me’
While working out on the elliptical at the Y, my attention is drawn for a moment to an elder woman and her companion, a very old man, half bent over whom she is assisting with the various machines. She...
View ArticleGetting My Hands Dirty
Sitting next to her, I notice her looking out the window. “This is such a nice color chrysanthemum” and proceeds to engage me around the garden outside. I wonder, “Did she enjoy gardening?” “Yes, I did...
View ArticleTime For Finger Food
He is one of my favorite people. Lewy Body has stripped him of many of his abilities. Eating has become a chore, and this morning I watch him struggle with breakfast. He has been served stewed...
View ArticleTwice Remembering
I was told to go and keep Charlene company. ‘She is having a hard time.’ I find Charlene contorted in her wheelchair, and trying to get up.’ Safety first, she has been placed right against a table,...
View Article“Do You Have a Husband?”
The elevator door opened, and here we were, meeting again. I greeted her, and right away, she announced, “I have two things to tell you: I am very healthy, and I need you to help me find my husband.”...
View ArticleMindfulness, Validation and Dementia Care
Validation is a widely taught communication technique in dementia caregiving. It aims to make the person feel validated in their present moment experience, whatever that may be. Sounds good, doesn’t...
View ArticleDementia Comes in Many Flavors
When I first started working in this field, I thought a big heart and some general knowledge about dementia were all that was needed to meet the other person with compassion. I have found out it is not...
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